Getting to Know You with... local artist Ted Coney

1 – Who are you?

Ted Coney

2 – What do you do?

I still teach art in Cambridge and have just completed 51 years. I also run Ely’s first pop-up gallery – Ted Coney’s Family Portraits

3 – Why would people know you?

They might remember that I likened Ely to a communist state. It was only in a letter to local newspapers but it made the front page. It was when the council were trying to push through car parking charges without proper consultation.

4 – On a scale of 1-10 (10 highest) what do you rate your sense of humour?

Definately 10, though it’s very dry so most people might miss it.

5 – Tell us a joke.

I have problems with jokes. I never get it if someone attempts to tell me one and I fail to remember the punchline on the few occasions I have attempted the exercise. Anyway, life is much funnier than jokes.

6 – Give us at least five pet hates.

Overuse of mobile phones, pomposity, people who say no without good reason, lack of funding in schools and everyone driving to fast.

7 – Is it time for Britain to abolish the Royal Family?

Certainly not – think of the alternative. Though I once took some students to Buckingham Palace for a reception and a table of drinks got knocked over onto a marble fireplace as the Queen approached. We wished it didn’t exist then.

8 – Brexit – in or out?

I voted out, but regretted it almost immediately - once I had talked to my nieces and nephews who work in European countries.

9 – Fruit: tinned or fresh?

Definately fresh, though I used to love tinned apricots.

10 – What is your favourite thing about East Cambridgeshire?

The hustle and bustle of Ely. Also, it is nice and flat so I can use my old bicycle

11 – Which TV programme has you reaching for the off button?

Any shows with so called celebrities in.

12 – If you won £5,000 what would you spend it on?

A meal with my family. Make a donation to ADEC who were cut adrift by the council and yet do so much for the arts in this part of the county.

13 – Favourite sports team?

I hate all team sports with a passion. I do enjoy playing rounders with my family at the sea-side, though.

14 – Place you would never want to return to and why?

I once worked on a kibbutz in Israel. It seems a harsh, unforgiving place now.

15 – Which three people would you like to have dinner with?

Can they be dead? The Queen Mother seemed like alot of fun and Laurel and Hardy always made me laugh.

16 – Who would you cross the road to avoid?

Conservative politicians aren’t my favourite at the moment, naming no names.

17 – Who was your childhood hero and why?

Probably Walt Disney because his films took you into another world.

18 – Your claim to fame?

I once drove my 1931 Morris Minor down the centre isle of Ely Cathedral. Embarrassingly it then stopped working and had to be pushed out.

19 - Biggest regret in life or biggest achievement?

No regrets. My biggest achievement to date was cycling (very slowly) 800 miles to Scotland to raise money for the Teenage Cancer Trust.

20 – What character would you dress as for a fancy dress party?

I once went to a fancy dress party as a house – so I’d probably do that again, though I would have to find a way to make it less hot (temperature wise).